you are such a failure, you totally destroyed any chance of me having any respect for you
i wonder why you never say sorry? sorry is all i needed to hear but instead you always try to talk your bullshit sense into me. im sorry but my brain has no space for your bullshit. why cant you just be a true and sincere person? dont put on a front and be so nice and generous to me and do stuff totally opposite to the facade you put on behind my back. you think i will never know? hah, dont treat me like years ago, im not the same anymore. im not that naive to believe in your fucking lies now. dont call me silly, you're the one looking like a fool now. a fool trying to use the same old tricks on someone who has already grown out of that simple minded kid.
ok why you piss me off: 1- you never admit your mistakes and instead try to cover it up with bullshit
2- you put on a fucking facade of this nice and generous man who actually cares
3- you fuck around with my loved ones and hurt them
why dont you just be a fucking man and deal with me? dont ask my mum to call you and settle it, if you wanna settle it, do it with me cause im the one who mentioned your fuck ups.
and if you still do the bullshit talking to others, work on it cause its really not working on me. if you really mean what you said, that we will always be related and you care for me. why didnt you settle your debts and bullshits when you know it will or may bother me in the future? please have some fucking responsibility. all these bullshit really makes me wanna have absolutely no relation with you. if you wanna disappoint everyone you're related to, keep being the failure that you are. oh wait, i dont think you even realise it, hope you do in time to save yourself. good luck.
an absolute pleasant surprise
Thursday, September 24, 2009
today i check my results, they were far from what i aimed for. i got sad and disappointed
baby acted weird with slow replies on msn, i decided to listen to music and then a decided to head to school for fyp. baby called and said she wanted to talk to me while she's out for lunch. talked on the phone with baby til i reached the train station and i saw my baby there waiting for me.
i was totally surprised and filled with happiness, it just came all of a sudden and the sadness and stuff all went away. i cant put into words how much i appreciate that surprise and the effort put into it, it means a lot to me. i love you baby!
Love my baby
Friday, September 18, 2009
baby you make me feel so _____
i love you!
and words cant seem to exactly describe how i feel
you know what i mean! :D
4:AM
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
this 4:am sure is different from the last one
this 4:am sure is better than the last one
at least it wont be 4:am forever
all the songs speak for my heart
the husky will stil be waiting even if the door wasnt open today
i was so shattered when you told me to let you go
i cant let you go just like that, just because of one fear, just by a msn session
its not meant to end like this.
i know you were shattered too. it didnt makes sense, two lovers in love but asked to let go. if two lovers in love cant make it, what can?
love seemed to have such a complicated logic that no one can prove it for sure but its actually very simple. just keep it simple
the past 24 hours were hard to take, i was so heartbroken i cried right after you asked me to let go. and it didnt stop there, i cried myself to sleep. the first thing i did when i woke up was cry, it felt really bad. trying to keep my cool in public was hard, i almost couldnt control my tears at some moments. i thought of all the happy times we had together and the first thing i thought of was that i couldnt have any of that anymore. cant hold you hand anymore, cant smell your hair, cant admire your nails, cant hold you, cant hug you, cant call you baby, cant walk you home, cant take one stop of 804 with you, cant deliver porridge to you when you're sick, cant watch movies together, cant do this, cant do that. really broke my heart.
im not gonna take the sadness and heartbreak with me cause im a husky and my owner opened the door after scratching it for so long and im a happy husky now.
the sadness and heartbreak stays here in this post. this episode made me cherish our love even more, i wanna make everyday worthwhile. i love you, pengpeng baby. im so glad we are us again.
memory lane is really bumpy and unstable although the memories were sweet as honey
songs i listen to
Monday, September 14, 2009
always all ways by lostprophets
i'll be there for you by bon jovi
the long goodbye by ronan keating
lets see what more i can find
ok, fool again by westlife (im really singing this now)
陳奕迅 七百年後
謝安琪 - 年度之歌
張敬軒 披星戴月
wonder
its such a wonder what dreams can do to you.
ngor mm hai mm hoi sum, ngor ji hai gok tak sheung sum nan guor, dum xam hao dim gai lin yat gor gei wui dou mm bei ngor jao pan ngor chut guk? mm meng bak dim gai leong fong dou xeung fan dao lok hui dan hai yi ga wui hai gam.
ngor hou xeung yi di sheung sum gam gok fai di gor hoi, hou xeung jiu nei ge gai wak zou fan hou pang yao. dan hai hong pa yew dang hou loi hou loi
i think i should be twitting all these
sleep was the most peaceful and stable thing that occurred since then
i think i really do love sleeping
this is not what i want
the voice never won
you gave in
you gave up
now im losing.
i lost a battle without even having to fight
this is so far worse than what i am willing to suffer
hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha i finally get to know what this means
PENGUIN'S PONY
Sunday, September 13, 2009
BABY DO BELIEVE I'M YOURS
YOU BEST BELIEVE, YOU BEST BELIEVE I'M YOURS
i love you
say you love me!
999
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
i dont like 09/09/09
its uncool oversensitive me day. sucks big time.
sorry baby! i love you big time!
Make it strong
naturally
WOOOOOOOOOO TIME
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
YES ITS WOOOOOOOO TIME!
but its kinda oh shit time too cause now i gotta start worrying about getting the call from mama tan when im not prepared for it.
anyway, went for a picnic at the botanic garden on sunday. it worked out, i didnt fly kite on ruohan cause we went shopping for shades on saturday after drum which ended early at around 1.
it was freaking fun, we were kinda lost and suddenly we were at the gardens alr! then we saw a hell lot of philipino girlprens, bangala boyprens, pigeons which fly off altogether at the same second, dogs, puppies, angmohs, angmoh kids, tourists, grass, trees, flowers, bonzai, statues, big big trees, holding honey's hand. i like how everything is so nice and beautiful when im with my baby, i thought the beach boy song sounded quite nice. R-A-N-GER! RANGERS RANGERS
and yeah, we took pictures of everything we saw but us. but i really enjoyed myself, ok we really enjoyed ourselves, thats a lot more than enough. what more can i ask for?
dinner with baby today! wanted to eat bakut teh at clarke quay but the shop is closed on every monday, ARGH! so we went to eat at burger king instead, then it was grocery shopping back at yishun and the walk back to baby's house (filled with anxiety)
im really glad and proud of you! you finally did it! time will indeed do the talking for us.
im starting on my composing alr. i hope its gonna be a good one. something different, something new, something revolutionary. blows your ass off the seat.
我们
Sunday, September 6, 2009
酸甜苦辣，一起度过。
LOVE, FREEDOM
Saturday, September 5, 2009
LAST PAPER ENDED ON THURSDAY AT APPROX. 11AM! FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!
AND I GOT TO MEET MY LOVE SO SHORTLY AFTER THAT!! BESTZXZXZ MAN
it really felt like the exam itself took a day cause i had a totally different feeling about the time after the paper, it was like another me. suddenly all the stress is gone, all the late night mugging, all the mugging and only mugging between meals, all the not being able to see my love, all the not being able to go to drum, all the not being able to have fun, all the not being able to facebook without feeling guilty.
ok so we went to eat at long johns and watch the proposal at cineleisure. the movie was quite alright, the family and being loved part was touching, oh and also the proposal scene! awwwwwwww! i just love being with my baby! went to wheelock to send pengpeng's mum's watch for servicing and then it was dinner at some jap teppan restaurant! was quite nice but the serving was like half of my stomach :( but it was alright cause i ate some of baby's sirloin beef! HAHAHA AND I HAD BLACK ANUS BEEF (tasted good)
met joan and the web designer at starbucks, shared a mocha frappe with baby (which i now realise i didnt pay for my share) and then it was more shopping! oh and we caught a bit of the lion dance action outside taka, kinda cool! the lion actually looked like a lion
went back home after orchard central, the long escalator was under service :(
and then i was too tired to blog, so here i am blogging on freedom day.
and today i got to know that the whole fep internship is called off, actually i was quite disappointed cause i thought it was really good exposure for my baby. but then its good to have it called off early then later where everything it screwed. i guess im a lot better now, the hug was a really sincere one. LOVE YOU BABY! we met up with zm and eleana and we chatted, it was kinda good! i can foresee the prawning trip being a good one. baby decided to come along to drama and im glad it made her day! drama was really fruitful again, learnt quite some stuff especially the feeling and emotion part. ahhhhhh
i guess it teaches us not to take things for granted
felt like a fool standing on the bus doing nothing and goodbye was the only interaction i had
but it was alright cause we have the key to our relationship
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
i dont know anything about it but i hope its gonna be fine, nothing bad or serious.
